Influencing a Positive Response to Mental Illness in High Schools and Young Adults

I hit rock bottom four years ago.

It was Halloween 2018 when two of my guy friends were killed in a car accident. Then one girl from my high school committed suicide, and another from Reveal High School.

I saw the effect that those tragedies had on all of the students and also on me. I almost didn’t graduate from high school because I started skipping classes because of how depressed I got.

In my senior year of high school, I had an interest from Chapman University to join their women’s soccer program. I saw soccer in my future.

Unfortunately, though I did not end up committing because my GPA was below what they were asking. I saw my future vanish. I didn’t have a plan, a future; I saw no point in being here. I questioned whether I wanted to continue living.

Helping athletes and hearing their stories is what kept me going.

I thought my world was ending. I didn’t have a future with soccer; I didn’t know my future. But speaking to all of these players gave me purpose.
I learned, “It’s ok to not be ok.”

We had the 49ers come to our school to talk about mental health. These guys were grown men and never showed emotion.

There is this stereotype that men can’t show emotions. So you never see it. But I saw these players get emotional, which showed me that I wasn’t alone. They showed me that being emotional is a strength, not a weakness.

Being on a football team in high school, I saw how this mindset of athletes, putting everything aside once you step onto the field because you have to look tough, affects athletes.

Football players especially have to have a tough mindset where they can’t show emotions on the field.

One day I was practicing field goals before a game, and none of them were going in. Something was going on in my mind that I just couldn’t brush to the side.

And I remember walking off the field, taking my helmet off, and walking to the bench. My coach could tell I was upset, so he came up to me and asked what was going on with me.

I just broke down in tears. I couldn’t hold my emotions inside anymore. Because whether you are a female or male football player, you have to look tough on the field.

But I learned that showing emotion is not a sign of weakness; it signifies strength and bravery. And I wanted athletes to know that.

That’s when I started “Safe Space”- a youth organization spreading awareness for mental health among athletes. I became a speaker for the organization and traveled to different school districts, hoping to impact the athletes and their families.

The change was seen- we got mental health professionals, counselors at all of our district schools and other districts in the Bay area (private or public).

I would talk to sports teams and try to educate them on mental health. I would also speak at my football games to the parents of these athletes.

I expressed the importance of having those hard conversations with their child (about suicide or mental health disorders).

I found a purpose to keep living.

My purpose was to help others.

I saw life is worth living.

Live each day with a grateful heart because it can change in an instant.