Here on the Chronicle, we talk a lot about closing the gap between expectation and reality. The gap can be very motivating, driving us towards our ultimate goal of being the person and athlete we can be.
However, just like it often does in life, what happens when our greatest asset becomes our greatest weakness? What if focusing on the expectation gap keeps us from our dreams and causing us to suffer mentally?
Macklemore put it best when he said, “expectations are resentments waiting to happen.”
I will give you a concrete example.
Say that your dream is to obtain a D1 scholarship to be a baseball pitcher. What do most people in sports do? They start looking around to compare themselves to those around them, or better yet, to a high standard that is believed to be the golden ticket to the next level. It would help if you were 6’4″, threw 90 mph, and had fantastic breaking pitches.
However, you don’t.
You throw 85-88 mph, but you can get people out.
So you start to focus on, “how can I throw 90 mph?” “What training can I do to get to that level?” You have already created an expectation that maybe doesn’t apply to your path to a scholarship.
You start sweating and grinding to make up the speed differential and looking up YouTube videos, searching every workout imaginable, trying to copy programs that people with other body types. In the meantime, you are struggling on the mound when you get a chance to play. Your performance is either wavering or getting worse.
This cycle can be dangerous, but it is all too common. Even more frustrating, it continues to happen at a younger and younger age when the gap between what you expect to be in the future can be huge.
What if, instead of focusing on the speed gap, you focus on your greatest strengths. “Yeah, I throw 85-88 mph, but my curveball and change-up are hard to hit.” “If I can get my change-up differential to my fastball to be larger, I can get more people out.” Instead, you find another pitcher with your exact body type and try to learn what makes them successful. Maybe you look at their path and see what you can glean from it. Perhaps your ticket to the next level is unique to what you can do with your skillset.
The truth is that the only person you need to be is you.
Any athlete that has made it can only stand in front of you and tell you what they did make it. Because at the end of the day, there is only one way that matters, and that is your way. Only you will experience the trials and tribulations that will lead to your ultimate goals. You can take pieces of advice and mimic what others do, but you have to make it uniquely yours at the end of the day.
When you transfer into that realm, something unique starts to happen. You begin to develop the intangibles like grit. You gain confidence. All of a sudden, things that seemed out of reach just began to happen.
It’s hard to trust it, but it’s the way forward.
