Small Talk

By Skyler Gurtler

From elementary through high school I played school and club volleyball. 

I began on Varsity as a freshman in high school and competing in the 18u club as a 16-year-old.

I believe my greatest obstacle within sports, which overflowed into my everyday life,

was having confidence in myself.

I had a hard time believing I was “good” or “good enough”. 

This doubt was completely fueled by self-doubt. Those around me whether it was parents, coaches, or recruiters always built me up, but it was hard for me to believe them because I didn’t believe in myself.

The first step was to overcome being shy.

I always struggled to be loud enough on the court. By being loud on the court it means calling your balls or what set you want.

I was an outside hitter so if I wanted to hit I would call out what set I wanted.

Another way you have to be loud is by calling out that you will be getting the ball. When the ball comes over the net to distinguish you will be receiving that ball you yell one of the following of your choice, “mine” “got it” “I go”. 

Being loud enough on the court is much more than what it seems. The small talk that seems trivial on the court leads to many repercussions throughout life.

It correlates to being able to have great communication skills. You have to be loud so your team can hear you, so my struggle with being loud was then affecting my team. 

I had to make the decision to overcome my personal discomfort for the benefit of my team.

Through doing this I gained many life skills. I gained the ability to speak up for myself in

times when needed. Not holding back my voice in situations where it needed to be used. 

I built confidence in my communication skills, especially with important people such as my coaches and recruiters. 

As I’ve gotten older this skill has been extremely beneficial in holding a job. I don’t shy away from authority and can show others I respect them with confident communication. 

When being recruited no recruiter or college wants a player who doubts themselves because doubt within yourself affects the morale of your team.

I learned a deeper understanding of my job on the court and what impact my actions had upon my team.

The phrase “fake it until you make it” really does apply in the terms of confidence. 

It is a mindset you have to put yourself into. You need to believe that you are worthy of playing where you are and worthy to be a part of your team.

Confidence is not putting others down to make yourself better, most people who do this are most likely insecure about themselves, so they rely on others.

If confidence doesn’t come from within yourself and you rely on the approval of others you will always end up crumbling. 

True confidence comes from within and the belief you have in yourself.

Another important skill to have as an athlete is self-forgiveness.

Due to my lack of confidence at times when I made a mistake, I would correlate that to meaning I was a “bad player”. You have to have the strength of belief in yourself to understand that you are still human, and everyone makes mistakes.

A singular or few mistakes does not diminish your skills as a player or person.

The biggest lesson I learned was that confidence within yourself builds up the team.

In playing team sports there are times you have to sacrifice your own wants and comforts for the benefits of the bigger picture. In doing this I was pushed by my actions and teammates to

become a better version of myself each and every day.

Which is all sports is really about.