Above Failure, Under Grace

By Erich Uelmen

Making sense of my Athletic Career 

There used to be a time in life in which failure created anxious frustration. In hindsight it was a gift, it drove me to my current place, but it was far too heavy a burden to carry.

Recycling my processes each time everything felt wrong made me question all that I did in order to improve. I needed to release this burden or else I would inevitably lack the confidence needed to produce. 

Well, I held on to them instead, and the confidence was lost. 

I’m too proud to say that I ever feared failure, but failure still drove me into a bi-polar state of insecurity being smothered by false confidence. 

Why does real confidence evade or leave so many of us? Life changed when I discovered its the source. Real confidence would be a full conviction and a perfect certainty of good at all times. 

Who or what can promise this? 

God can. 

I recall now one of my favorite pieces of scripture:

But Moses said to the people, “Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord which He will accomplish for you today…” (Ex. 14:13)

The nation of Israel heard these words just before the Lord parted the waters of the sea, rescuing them from the pursuing slavers of Egypt, providing their salvation. 

My career completely changed when I learned that salvation was more than just a ticket to heaven, specifically through Jesus’ death on the cross. 

It changed because the Holy Spirit showed me, Jesus, as Lord, and I knew that the Lord was good because he is infallible and His word never changes. 

This means I can have real confidence because the Lord does not fail. I needed to know this to carry on with my career with joy and peace compared to the fear and anxiety, which I admit, drove me before. 

The reason I was fearful and anxious was that I believed I was in control and I knew I couldn’t trust myself completely.

Another piece of scripture says:

Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt. 11:29-30)

I had many burdens, but Jesus said to make Him my burden.

How does that make sense? Only the Holy Spirit can explain, but I will try. 

To make Jesus my only burden was and is freedom from all other burdens. Because of the burden of my sin Jesus suffered for me on the cross. 

“You have burdened me with your sins, You have wearied me with your iniquities. I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgression for my own sake, And I will not remember your sins.” (Isaiah 43:24-25).  

Now I am no longer a burden to God as I was before. I burdened him because I didn’t trust that he loved me enough to heal my brokenness. 

The brokenness showed to me by the Holy Spirit, when I was a burden to God, made me realize I was also I was a burden to myself. 

The Lord did this because I am his creation, as are you, and wants to make his glory known through those who love Him and share with us the opportunity to experience his goodness in this sinful life and for all eternity. 

The Glory of God is very important to God and He promised to make it known. Therefore I can believe Solomon’s wisdom, “the Lord will be your confidence” (Prov 3:26), because my confidence is now placed in the God whose glory is of utmost importance to Him, and since He is perfect, it will be done.

He will be glorified and through his mercy, I may be a part of that in any way He sees fit. I currently desire for God’s vision for my life to be served through the baseball field on the mound. “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). 

I delight that I am not my own, I am the Lords and He will be done.

“Whether you eat or you drink or whatever you do, do for the glory of God” (1 Cor 10:31). 

Now that my career is no longer for me and is now for Jesus, I no longer have the burden of failure. We fail when we think our lives did not go according to plan, but now the only failure I can imagine is the failure of not knowing and trusting the Lord Jesus.

The Lord said, “I know the plans that I have for you, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jer 29:11). 

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I think it is really easy for any athlete to get caught up in the expectations of an unpleasant society. I’m just here to say it doesn’t have to be this way. You don’t have to place an unnecessary burden upon yourself. Or struggle to paint a comely, yet fake face every day. 

Ask yourself how giving up a bit of burden and anxiety could change your career and maybe even your life. 

God Bless,

Erich Uelmen